You probably learned reflexive pronouns as a list: myself, yourself, himself, herself, itself, ourselves, yourselves, themselves. Most learners say them with even stress: MY-self, YOUR-self. That sounds robotic.
Here is the rule that fixes it: The stress always falls on -SELF or -SELVES, not on the pronoun part.
The Core Rule
Every English reflexive pronoun has two parts: a possessive/object pronoun (my, your, him...) + the ending -self or -selves. The ending is the stressed syllable.
| Pronoun | Wrong stress | Right stress | IPA |
|---|---|---|---|
| myself | MY-self | my-SELF | /maɪˈsɛlf/ |
| yourself | YOUR-self | your-SELF | /jɔrˈsɛlf/ |
| himself | HIM-self | him-SELF | /hɪmˈsɛlf/ |
| herself | HER-self | her-SELF | /hərˈsɛlf/ |
| itself | IT-self | it-SELF | /ɪtˈsɛlf/ |
| ourselves | OUR-selves | our-SELVES | /aʊərˈsɛlvz/ |
| yourselves | YOUR-selves | your-SELVES | /jɔrˈsɛlvz/ |
| themselves | THEM-selves | them-SELVES | /ðəmˈsɛlvz/ |
Why This Rule Exists
The new information is the reflexive ending. The pronoun part is already known: "you" knows you are talking about you. So speakers naturally throw away energy on the pronoun and push it onto -self.
Practice the Eight Pronouns
The First Half Often Reduces
Because the pronoun part is unstressed, vowels there often turn into a schwa:
- himself → /əmˈsɛlf/ ("uhm-SELF")
- herself → /ərˈsɛlf/ ("er-SELF")
- themselves → /ðəmˈsɛlvz/ ("thuhm-SELVES")
- yourself → /jərˈsɛlf/ ("yer-SELF")
Native speakers also often drop the /h/ in "himself" and "herself" inside a sentence: "He hurt himself" → "He hurt 'imself".
The Exception: Contrastive Stress
The rule changes when you want to highlight WHO did the action. Then stress moves to the pronoun part:
- "I want YOU to do it, not anyone else." → "You do it your-SELF" (normal)
- "Other people helped, but I did most of it." → "I did it MY-self" (contrastive - rare)
You almost never need this. In 95% of everyday sentences, stress falls on -SELF.
Common Sentence Patterns
Practice these whole sentences out loud. Whisper the pronoun, punch the -SELF:
- "I'll do it my-SELF."
- "Be your-SELF."
- "He blames him-SELF."
- "She took care of her-SELF."
- "The door closed by it-SELF."
- "We helped our-SELVES to coffee."
- "Make your-SELVES at home."
- "They taught them-SELVES Spanish."
The "-selves" Spelling Trap
Three pronouns end in -SELVES (plural). The F changes to V before adding -ES, just like leaf → leaves, knife → knives. Pronounce the /v/ clearly - do not say "selfs":
- ourselves /-vz/ (not /-fs/)
- yourselves /-vz/
- themselves /-vz/
One Quick Drill
Read this paragraph aloud. Stress every -SELF / -SELVES, reduce everything else:
"I told my-SELF that we could fix it our-SELVES. He convinced him-SELF, she pushed her-SELF, and they all surprised them-SELVES."
Master this one rule and your reflexive sentences will sound native overnight.